February 3, 2009

My beloved mother passed away on December 5th resulting in an 8-hour trip back to New Castle, PA. We were all concerned about the toll Tiffany's grief in losing her Grandma as well as the trip would take on her. What was so sad is my Mom knew how badly I wanted a baby and she was so close to seeing my dream come true. Our concerns became reality when Tiff's blood pressure sky rocketed. After weeks of bed rest, her doctor decided to induce labor a month early on February 2nd. Poor little thing! She tried so hard but her little body just couldn't handle that big baby - even when he wasn't "fully grown"! After 28 hours of labor and Chris sitting bedside, holding her hand and practicing their Uijayi Breathing, they decided on a cesarean section as Bryson was beginning to stress. Unfortunately, only one of us would be able to go into the O.R. so I acquiesced and Daddy suited up. Here’s the truly beautiful part. Bryson Shields Gavin was born on February 3rd, my Mom’s birthday!!! She was with us and we all knew it!!! How blessed can we be!!!

Time Changes All Things . . .

As the big day draws nearer, we have so much more to tell! Yesterday was Tiffany's second doctor's visit this week and they have determined that we now need to see them twice weekly until the baby is born. It was once a week until Tiffany became a problem child! (Not her fault!) The first eight months were just too good to be true! No morning sickness - no aches - no pains - no complications . . .

All of that has come to an end. Her high blood pressure has put her on permanent bed rest and DRASTICALLY changed how she eats. This is the trauma of the century! She went from 98 lbs. and eating air when she got here to 141 lbs and eating anything and everything she could dream of! Cravings were off the chart! If you wonder what a shock this low sodium diet is to her, check the labels in your kitchen cabinets. And Chris is completely obsessed with it which is taking the fun out of what little she can eat. Good news is, all of her tests came back clear of any trace of toxemia or pre-eclempsia. Her blood sugar is also right on target and the baby's vitals are all very good! The doctor said his head has dropped and he's getting in position.

Yesterday's visit gave us a new "concern" though. Tiffany told the doctor that she's had a very bad muscle ache in her left calf. Concerned about a blood clot, they sent us back over to Bellevue for an ultrasound. Once again, good news. No signs of a clot - appears to be a muscle strain. Hmmmmmmm Could the additional 40+ lbs be the contributor?

Quick sideline on me, it appears I am experiencing couvade syndrome (sympathy pregnancy symptoms.) I won't get into the sensitive details. Suffice to say - this hurts! Aren't hormones fun?

And the fun begins . . .

OK – we just got back from Tiffany’s appointment and this time when they got to the standard question, “So do you have any questions or concerns?” we for the first time said, “Yes.” Tiffany’s feet have been swollen for the past 4 days. We’ve increased her fluids, decreased her salt intake and have kept her feet elevated above her heart, all to no avail. They quickly took her blood pressure and confirmed it was “a little high”. Concerned about toxemia and/or pre-eclampsia, they sent us directly to Bellevue for more tests. They cautioned us that this may turn into an “admission” and worse case scenario may have to be hospitalized for the remainder of her pregnancy. Well, I wasn’t about to be the only one freaking out (not that I’d let Tiffany know) so I called Chris, Donna and Marlea and successfully scared the crap out of them too. I love support!

They hooked Tiffany up to a blood pressure / baby heart monitor unit and I just sat there watching her blood pressure go up and up and up. Her top numbers were 141 over 94. For some people that may be normal but for me, I was getting sicker by the moment. The baby’s heart beat was STRONG and I held the phone to the speaker so Chris, Donna and Marlea could all hear it for the first time. That was the only cool part in the whole day! They also took bloods and ran some labs. We were only there for a total of 2 hours but it felt like 2 days as Tiffany was “starving” and we were both a little scared. Finally, the nurse returned with a bag containing a big orange bottle and a graduate (a urine catch shaped like a hat) with directions to go home and collect urine for the next 24 hours. Yes, we have to keep the urine in the refrigerator and have already directed Dean to not mistake it for apple juice. I have to make a follow-up doctor’s appointment for her for Thursday and will have more to tell at that time. For now, she’s on total bed rest and being well taken care of by Nurse Donna. As for me, I’m going to go open a bottle of wine. Motherhood is tough!

After my comatose December . . .

WOW! Little did I know when I set this page up that I would identify such an obvious weakness! Bethany Schumann-McGhee is my hero – my girlfriend – my attorney – and the best doggone blogger I’ve ever seen! She updates her blog daily and makes it look so easy – and guess what – SHE’S FUNNY! How does she do it? And she hasn’t even slowed down since Dani was born so that “I’m just too busy-can't find the time” excuse falls short of acceptable!!!! Bethany, you’re putting me to shame!!! If you haven’t already done so and you want to see what a real blogger does, click on the Bethany & Wes link on this page and check her site out. Not to mention, her angel is completely adorable and only surpassed by her doting daddy! I’m thinking we might have to reintroduce the concept of arranged marriages as I think Dani and my baby boy may make a perfect match! Yes! I’m starting to be a controlling mother already!

Tiffany and I have a doctor’s appointment today. We are 38 days from our “due date”. Last Saturday, Tiffany, Chris and I took our tour and pre-registered at Bellevue, The Country Club of Women’s Hospitals. We are working on our “Birthdate Wish List” to make sure it resembles our dreams of this day as closely as possible. What a moving experience this was! Reality has begun to set it. While we were there, we stood in front of the windows of the nursery and watched the babies being dressed and cared for. Well, I should say Tiffany and I watched. Chris was frozen in time – standing there staring and oblivious to everyone else around him. He had “Daddy Face” and it moved me to tears. I am so excited for him. He’s going to make such an awesome daddy!

We spent the rest of the day going from store to store looking predominantly at baby cribs but inevitably, everything else that our little man could possibly need or want. We already have his Pack ‘n Play, his car seat and his stroller. I am just about done with the baby registries and will let you know when our “WELCOME BABY” party (shower) is scheduled for. We’re thinking some time in March. Yikes! This is really happening!!!!

Stay tuned. I’ll try to do better!!! I promise!!!!!

I'm SO Terrible at this!!!

You know – You can’t be good at everything! Try as I may! So let me just say out loud what everyone else has said at least to themselves. “I AM REALLY BAD AT BLOGGING!!!!”

What can I say that you don’t already know? We’re still having a baby boy and Tiffany still has the cutest belly I’ve ever seen! We have been to the doctors since my last posting. It was Wednesday, October 15th and was completely uneventful. I guess that’s a good thing. We heard the baby’s heart beat and it has gone from a little flutter to a full marching band. He’s moving around a lot more but only when Tiffany doesn’t want him to . . . like when she’s trying to sleep and every time we go to church. I think Pastor’s voice is very soothing – I’ll have to remember that during those midnight rants – put him on speed dial.

Anyway – Tiffany got her flu shot at this appointment. That freaked me out a little. You can’t take an Aspirin but you can get a flu shot? The assured me a million times that it wouldn’t hurt the baby but I was still a little upset.

Tiffany weighed in at a whopping 117 lbs., which is 19 lbs. heavier than when she started. Actually, I’m surprised it’s only 19 lbs. All she thinks about – talks about and lives for is FOOD!!!! She stays ravenous! I’ve never seen anything like it! It doesn’t matter what we’re talking about – she’ll interrupt you out of the clear blue with how many days to Thanksgiving followed by a litany of suggested menu items! And when Chris wants to mess with her, he’ll just drop a “Taco Bell” and watch her obsess. She’s fun!

We still haven’t nailed down a name. Well, I have – and it’s a good one. Now, when Chris agrees with me, I may post it but it’s only the 5th “serious” name we’ve come up with. Those of you who know Chris know what I’m up against and I appreciate your prayers! For example, HE joked about naming the baby Kal-El Gavin. For those of you who are not addicted to DC Comics and my not have your own Superman Bathroom, Kal-El was the birth name of Superman (on Krypton). Chris was particularly pleased with his monogram and thought it would make him real popular in college. Pray Hard!!!! The scary thing is the number of otherwise very intelligent people who encourage him! Like my dear girlfriend, attorney and mother-to-be of my baby’s future girlfriend, Bethany. If you need further proof – click on the Bethany & Wes link on this page. Unlike me, she is one awesome blogger!!!

Our next appointment is November 13th. That should be fun. Stay tuned.

Ultrasound #1

Today was a HUGE day!!! Second only to the delivery day!!! If the baby was not in a particularly modest mood, we would find out the gender as today was our first Ultrasound. I barely slept last night!

Tiffany and I arrived at 9:00 a.m. for our 9:20 appointment. Heather (the most incredible Ultrastenographer in the WORLD!) called us in right on time. She wasted no time – poured the “warm” gel on Tiffany’s belly (which she was very thankful for) and immediately we saw the baby. I can’t describe the rush of feelings that went through me at the first sight of a real, live little baby that will be in our arms in a matter of months! So amazing!! All of a sudden, Heather jumps and squeals, “Oooooh, I know what we’re having!” She didn’t even have the opportunity to ask if we wanted to know. I was almost on her back with my face 2 feet from the monitor yelling, “Where is it? Where is it?” She points between two obvious legs and says, “IT’S A BOY!!!!” I’m not sure how I got there but in an instance I was on the other side of the exam table hugging and kissing Tiffany and thanking her again and again! When I finally stood up, I realized my face was soaked. I looked to see if Tiffany was crying. She wasn’t. She was just smiling from ear-to-ear. Yup . . . it was me . . . crying again.

I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to talk to Chris and I commented out loud that I left my cell phone in the car! Heather interrupted me with a firm, “Call him!! Use the house phone!” And so I did. I was crying when he answered and tried to talk through my tears which scared the heck out of him! He thought something terrible had happened. I finally got the words out, “IT’S A BOY!” and I cannot adequately describe the sound he made. He repeated the words back to me and then said, “That’s just what I wanted!” I knew that. From the beginning, I wanted a baby but Chris wanted a baby boy! He would have been happy with a little girl but all of his dreams have been around having a son to teach how to play baseball and football – to take fishing and hunting – to teach Aikido to - to be “buds” with. He admitted that he could have done all of that with a girl too but a girl couldn’t be his son! He was thrilled and it overwhelmed me to hear it in his voice! He won’t miss the next ultrasound. I’ll guarantee it!

We thought we had the names all picked out – Riley if it was a girl and Rylan if it was a boy. And you know how when you tell people that and wait for their reaction, most people say, “Awwww, those are nice names.” Not Marlea. Noooooo, that girl has way too much opinion for niceties. She came back with, “OK, do you want to re-think that? Actually said the name Rylan was too “gay” and sent me via e-mail her list of “strong, Godly, Welsh names. I love that girl!!! Another friend, Jessica advised that you don’t pick the name before you see the baby’s face. Well, today, we saw his face and the search goes on for the name that fits the face – the baby – the boy and some day – the man. Thanks for your prayers and support!

EUREKA! We found it!

WOW! It has been some time since I have updated this blog and OMG have I been hearing about it! There are many reasons for my lack of maintenance. My usual fallback is “where do I find the time!?” In typical “Marjorie fashion” I can never seem to do just one thing at a time and sitting and typing without interruption is unheard of! My life has taken an insane path of frenzy – the details of which I will spare you. I’m just sticking with “I’m too busy”.

Another – and dare I say primary reason for our absence is that we haven’t had very good luck with doctors since July 24th. “The best OB/GYN in the world" (Dr. Sattar) informed us that they do not take Tiffany’s insurance (contrary to what they told us when we set the first appointment. So, we began the search for a “new best OB/GYN in the world”. We have several friends who are pregnant at the moment, one of which LOVES her doctor (Dr. Cryns) so we started the process all over again and couldn’t get in to see him until Tuesday, August 26th – a full 4 weeks later. We were hopeful that we would hear the baby’s heartbeat so Chris and I took time off work and went with Tiffany. This was without a doubt the most upsetting experience to date. Our appointment was at 3:00 p.m. We were taken to the exam room at 3:20 where we sat by ourselves until 4:20. No nurse – no vitals – no nothing. We were all getting antsy so I went out to the desk to inquire as to the status. The office staff told me that he had indeed been called out for a delivery but had just returned. I thanked them and went back in to update the restless patient. A few minutes later, the nurse came in – drops something on the counter and then snidely says to Tiffany, “maybe someday your delivery will inconvenience someone else’s appointment.” Five minutes later the doctor comes in. We introduced ourselves and told him that our friends (by name) had referred us. He interrupts saying, “If I’m going to get a word in edgewise, I’m going to have to ask “the grandparents” to leave!” I clarified that we weren’t Tiffany’s parents, we were the adoptive parents. He became even more incensed and would not proceed until Chris and I left. All three of us were upset – but not as much as we were when Tiffany came out and told us that she heard the heartbeat and they wouldn’t come get us. Lots more to the rudeness and insensitivity but suffice to say, none of us could imagine letting this jerk and his incompetent staff destroy our blessed experience for the next 6 months. So . . . the pursuit began again.

I called no less than ten different practices because now, I’m in full interview mode. Our mission, that our provider – from doctor to receptionist understands that this is not the “typical” Mommy-Daddy-Baby birth experience. There were three of us having this baby and whoever we chose to be part of this amazing experience was going to have to “get the vision”! After much searching, we were led to an all-woman practice called “CareNet” and the only hospital they deliver at is Bellvue Woman’s Hospital – lovingly referred to as “The Country Club”. By the grace of God, an angel named Michaeline answered the telephone. She "got the vision" and instantly confirmed that I had found the right place! We went to our 3rd initial visit last Thursday, September 7th and all we can say is WOW! What a difference! We did it! We found truly the best fit for our unique situation. They have four female doctors (3 of them Asian which Chris is very happy about.) We didn't get to meet Michaeline but we did meet with Cindy who also really has the heart for her calling. Tiffany is now in her 16th week and full of questions. Unlike Dr. Cryns, they were thrilled to answer Tiffany’s questions. Cindy was patient, caring and extremely educational. The thrill of the day was when we got to hear a nice, hard, healthy heartbeat which made one of us cry. (Ok – that would be me.)

They said that Tiffany is in fantastic shape and everything is right where it should be for this stage of her pregnancy. We have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday, September 23rd when we hope to find out whether we are having a little boy or a little girl. We will see the doctor immediately after the ultrasound on the same day. The next day, the 24th, Tiffany has to go back for a procedure called a Colposcopy. Don’t know what it is? Look it up. No real concern. Just a safety precaution addressing a diagnosis from her pap smear taken back in July when she learned she was pregnant.

Tiffany news – we just celebrated her 18th birthday on Thursday, 9/11. She will be 17 weeks along on Tuesday, 9/16 and today, Sunday, 9/14 . . . .(trumpet sounds) she felt the baby move!!!!!! (I just got chills!) She is so remarkable!! Not surprising, she is going through a litany of emotions. One moment she is her usual delightful self and the next minute, she’s crying her eyes out. But through it all, she hasn’t wavered. She stands steadfast that she is doing the right thing – for the baby as well as for herself. She keeps a diary which we will add to the baby’s scrapbook. Her little belly is pooting right out there. I have got to find my camera and get a picture of her on this sight!

I have to send out a special love note to those of you who have added your support to her. Special kudos goes out to Liz – You have blessed her more than you’ll ever know – giving her unbiased insight, encouragement and your friendship. To Jessica - her new aunt. You instinctively treat her like you’ve known her and loved her all of her life and give more advise than even I do! And to Cookie and Hugh (Chris’ mom & dad) who she now calls “Grandma Cookie” and “Grandpa Hugh”. You have drawn her in and treated her like family and have just confirmed that our baby will experience that special love that only grandparents can give. Thank you all for taking this journey with us! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!!!!!!